Month: November 2016

What You Should Work On Next

I’m finding that the older I get, the harder it is to dive into a new creative project with the same enthusiasm.

“Enthusiasm,” if you don’t know, comes from a Latin root meaning “too dumb (willfully or not) to know how much shit is ahead,” and the sad thing about experience is that it gnaws away at enthusiasm like a heartworm. I miss the heady, ignorant days when I could say like an idiot, “Fuck yeah, the world needs a story about monsters who live in milk trucks!”

The world has made abundantly clear that it needs none of my shit, even the really good shit that I felt deeply.

I’m more okay with that than I thought I’d be, but it still means that it’s hard to choose what to work on next. Sometimes an idea grabs me and won’t leave until I do something with it, but more often, I have to commit to hacking away at something I choose.

So here’s the patented Will Ludwigsen Writing Priority Grid(tm).

What you do is list all of the things you could be working on in a column on the far left side. Then, in the other columns, you rate the story idea in several categories, like so:

priority-grid

Now, if you want to get fancy, you can weight the numbers as I have here. Maybe the saleability of a story is more important than, say, how interesting it is to you (though I rather hope not). In that case, the maximum score for interesting might be a three or a four instead of a five for saleability.

(You’ll notice that most of the numbers don’t go above three even in the heavier columns. Well, that’s depression for you. Also, I grayed saleability because that’s the one that seems hardest to gauge.)

But what if you add up the totals and you’re not happy with the result? Well, that tells you something, too: there’s a story you WANT to work on despite the cold numbers and you should chase after that.

You can add other columns depending on your priorities.Possibilities might be “How long has it been lurking in my mind?” or “How eager is my audience to read it?” or “How important is the editor expecting it?” I considered “How likely is it to fuck over Trump,” but I figured that one would be depressing, but hey, maybe you want to consider the social impact of your work.

This would be a good place to write something encouraging about the choice you’ve made, but all I’ve got is this:

You should probably weight that “fun” column pretty heavily because that’s the fall back when all else fails. If you change nothing but yourself with your work, that’s a lot more than most people do.

How to Talk to Your Children about Donald Trump

A lot of people are wondering what to tell their children about the Donald Trump victory in the election.

stun

While we’re all grateful that I have none, here’s what I’d tell mine:

Merricat, Roland, come here and sit with your old man a minute before we all go down to the bunker.

You’re too young to read most of my work yet, but I pretty much express its main theme in everything else I say and do, so you may have picked it up by now. That theme is this:

Decent people live outnumbered among legions of willfully oblivious idiots who rationalize their selfishness as “human nature.” Like saboteurs in enemy country, it is our duty to confound their ends with orchestrated humor and weirdness.

There’s a reason your mom and I named you after dangerously obsessive delusional psychopaths, and it’s because we want you to be the kind of terrifying oddballs who never give up their own visions of what’s right for what’s socially acceptable. If caving to social proof is a bug in our evolutionary software, I hope that you remain forever crazy enough to fight it.

Sometimes that means fighting alone or in a tiny group, and sometimes it means adding your voice to a crowd that accidentally happens to be right.

Your revolution may never extend further than the length of your arms, but there’s so much you can do there. Being nice is a revolutionary act. Sticking up for someone is a revolutionary act. Listening and observing for yourself are revolutionary acts.

So is speaking up. So is being quiet when it suits you.

The whole world wants you to be crazy like them, but my hope is that you’ll be crazy like you.

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