The editors, staff, and legal team at Boys’ Popular Invention magazine wish to retract our article from the December 1949 issue entitled “Digging a Pirate’s Cave in Your Backyard” and apologize to the family of Gerald Looley. Though this retraction is part of a considerable financial settlement, our condolences are sincere for the loss of this imaginative and industrious young man.

Hi Sibley’s article describing how to dig a pit in one’s backyard for use as a secret lair neglected to mention several key considerations for safety and courtesy:

  • Be sure to ask your dad if it is permissible to dig a twenty foot by twenty foot hole in the yard BEFORE beginning the project.
  • If opting for motorized digging equipment, be sure to read all manuals and safety instructions THOROUGHLY.
  • Please wear protective gear like goggles and a helmet. Failing that, at least wear shoes.
  • Note that certain areas of the country have a high water table and flooding may ensue.
  • Note that other areas of the country have radon gas, leeched arsenic, and other chemical hazards lurking in the soil.
  • Note that regardless of how “cool” it is, do not excavate on an Indian reservation or an active archaeological site.
  • Be warned that the borders of cemeteries are not always marked clearly, especially for the graves of apostates. Report any human remains to your local police department.
  • Remember that the line between “scrap” and “about to be used” lumber is drawn by the construction company, not passersby.
  • VENTILATION IS NOT OPTIONAL. We say again: the air shafts and chimney are not decorative features of the Pirate’s Den.
  • The Pirate’s Den is not meant to provide shelter from atomic attack, nor is it meant to bear the weight of a 1940 Ford Deluxe.
  • All forms of fire require caution, including candles.
  • In the list of required lumber, please note that several of the measurements are in feet, not inches. This is especially important for the reinforcing beams.
  • The word “pirate” is meant playfully, not as an indication to use your project for criminal activity.
  • Your mother is not a “wench.” Neither is Sister Dolores at Sacred Heart Grammar School.
  • It is not recommended that boys brew “grog.”
  • Though a clever re-use of materials, we do not suggest adapting our Potato Cannon from the August 1947 issue as a sawed-off blunderbuss.
  • We advise builders to step out from their Pirate’s Den unarmed when ordered to do so by the police. A sawed-off blunderbuss counts as “armed.”
  • Local police not versed in the history of the Pirate Age may misinterpret a cry of, “Avast, ye cowardly Lobsterbacks! Damned be me to Hell if you take me alive!” as a threat.
  • If you are unable to heed these legally-required warnings, we do tip our tricorn to young men who fade from this mortal realm by saying, “’Tis better…to die a pirate…than a bootlick.”